Category: Sex

A little old lady with blue hair entered the sex shop and asked in a quavering voice, “Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell-l v-v-vibrators h-here?”The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop, answered, “Uh, yes ma’am. We do.”The little old lady, holding her quivering hands about ten inches apart, asked,…

A little boy walked in on his mom and dad having sex and the mom was jumpin all over the dad.So the next day the little boy asks his mom what she was doing. She replies with “Honey, I was jumping because Daddy is fat and needs to lose weight.”The little boy said “But Mommy,…

There was this couple who always had sex for twenty years with the light off. So one night the wife says lets have sex with the light on. The husband says “tomorrow night honey”. That night the wife turns the light on and sees her husband using a cucumber to pleasure her. she screams “You’ve…

A man went to church to confess to the priest.The priest says,”what do you need to confess?” The man tells him,”well during the war I hid a German lady in my closet and they never found her.” The priest say,”well that’s alright you saved her life, do you have anything else to confess?” The man…

A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, “This is a very interesting book. It says that American Indians have the longest members and Polish men have the biggest diameter members. By…

A guy went into this bar and saw this man with a shrunken head. Amazed, he goes up to him and asks how it happened.”I was a sailor who was shipwrecked on an deserted island” he replies. “When I was on the island, I saw this woman who looked like she was drowning, so I…

A young girl in her mid 20’s went to a pub and ordered a Bud light.After she drank it she went to a corner and passed out.A sleezy buisness man saw her and had sex with her.She woke up and left like nothing happend. The next day she went to the pub and ordered a…

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.” “I know,” the old man said, “We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago.” “Well,” Granny snickered,…

A dwarf is walking down the street and he picks up a hooker. He takes her back to his bedroom and she lays on the bed ready for him.He takes out a suitcase and unpacks four large springs, which he attaches to his hands and feet, climbs over her and starts to give it to…

Legend has it that in a pub in Newyork has a magic mirror that will grant wishes if you tell the truth.If you don’t POOF you’re gone in a flash of smoke. A brunette,a redhead and a blonde went to this pub and headed straight for the mirror. The redhead walked up to it and…