Category: Sex

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen a woman in years.…

Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, “You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.””Well,” said the other woman,” that will certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!”

Two 95 year old men sitting at the senior center one day when the onesays, “I have to get right home!””What’s your hurry?” asks the other.”Me and the wife are having sex again today”.”Again? How often do you have sex?””Every day! I don’t have time to talk but I’ll tell you what the secret is…Pumpernickel…

Two guys are in a bar discussing their sex lives. One guy says to the other, “How’s your sex life, buddy?” The other guy answers, “Not too good. Every time me and the missus have sex, she loses interest half-way through. It’s very frustrating. ” The first guy says, “Yeah, I know what you mean.…

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel…

A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn’t really ethical to screw one of his patients. However, a little voice in his head said “Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients so…

Similarities between Nixon and ClintonNixon:WatergateClinton:WaterbedNixon: His biggest fear – the Cold WarClinton:His biggest fear – a Cold SoreNixon: Worried about carpet bombsClinton:Worried about carpet burnsNixon: His Vice President was a GreekClinton:His Vice President is a geekNixon: Couldn’t stop KissingerClinton:Couldn’t stop kissing herNixon: Couldn’t explain the 18 minute gap in the Watergate tapeClinton:Couldn’t explain the 36-DD…

You may be a redneck if:Your porch collapses and more than six dogs dieYou mow your lawn and find a carYou consider a family reunion as a chance to meet “Ms. Right”You grab your boots a jacket and a flashlight to go to the bathroomYour idea of “safe sex” is locking the car door

Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern.One drunk says “I sure wish that sheep were Marilyn Monroe.” The other says, “I just wish…

A man walks into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor ask him what happened.”Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.…