School

When I first started college, the Dean came in and said, “Good Morning” to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded, “Ah, you’re Freshmen.” He explained, “When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, it’s Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their […] More

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and […] More

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms, and labs, etc., that each had an “A” so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and […] More

The judge asked the defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chainsaw.” From out in the gallery, a man shouts, “Lying bastard!” “Silence in the court!” the Judge says to the man who shouted. He turns to the defendant and says, “You are also charged with killing a […] More

Two guys were taking chemistry at the University of Alabama. They were so confident going into the final that two days before, they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some friends. They had a great time. However, they overslept and didn’t make it back to Alabama until the morning […] More

A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second-grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is “definitely” and its meaning is “absolute, positive, without a doubt.” She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who […] More

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. One of the students said to his friend: “I’m sure he has Petry Syndrome – those people walk just like that.” The other student said: “No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has […] More

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family – but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!” A smart-ass […] More

The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. The professor emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late: a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student’s immediate family. A student in […] More

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, […] More

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday, and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor told […] More

A girl has brought her fiancé home for dinner. After dinner, the fiancé and the girl’s father go into the study for a man-to-man talk. “So, what are you doing right now?” asks the father. “I am a theology scholar,” replies the fiancé. “Do you have any plans for employment?” “I will study, and God […] More