Category: Police Jokes

An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. “You were speeding,” the cop said. “I’m going to have to give you a ticket.” “Yep,” the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies. “These flies sure are terrible,” the trooper complained. “Yep,” the…

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: “May I see your driver’s license?” Driver: “I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.” Officer: “May I see the registration for this vehicle?” Driver: “It’s not my car. I stole it.” Officer: “The…

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are “unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,” committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don’t know the first thing about their business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titled “How Not to Rob a Bank,” by Tim Clark, which appeared in the 1987 edition of…

Kentucky:Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached…

A dyslexic cop is severely reprimanded by his captain because the spelling on his police reports is incomprehensible. “How can you expect anyone to read this! If you file just one more report with any and I mean *ANY* words misspelled, you are going on report!” screams the captain.