Category: Money

The plumber presented his customer, a lawyer, with a bill charging rates of $500 an hour. The lawyer was outraged, saying “I don’t even make that kind of money – doesn’t that seem a bit steep?” The plumber replied, “That’s what I thought, when I was a lawyer.”

A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him. “Look,” said the customer, “I have no arms – would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?” “Sure”, said the bartender, and he did. “Now,” said the customer,…

..A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?”A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, “I don’t know… Why don’t you play your age?”He walks…

The Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners (1998): Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank. Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of…

The Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners (1998): Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank. Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of…

The Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners: Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted…

Stage 1 – SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG.…

Dear Bill, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget? I was much too sensitive about your mohawk, tattoo and pierced nose. I now realize that motorcycles aren’t really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact…

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners.Reintarnation:Coming back to life as a hillbilly.Foreploy:Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.Giraffiti:Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.Sarchasm:The gulf between the…

A martian landed in the country. He Went up to a farm house and knocked on the door. He told the farmer he would give him 1,000,000 dollars for his flock of sheep. The farmer said O.K. The martian pulled a tiny sheep out of his pocket and it ate all the sheep. The martian…