Category: Miscellaneous

Her husband had passed on and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine.She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her.”Is there anything he needs ?” the distraught woman asked,between tears.The spiritualist went into a transient state, then…

The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, ‘The weather forecast calls…

Thorn was in the hospital for a complete check-up. At 11:00AM, they brought him soup for lunch. He refused it.At 2:00PM, they again tried to serve him some soup, which he refused.Again, at 5:00PM and 7:00PM, they tried, and both times Thorn turned down the soup, so they gave up.In preparation for the next day’s…

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.””We don’t have any.” replied the first blonde. “Well, if your going to…

During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, “How’d you do that?””I could tell you, sir,” the magician answered, “but then I’d have to kill you.”After a short pause, the man yelled back,…

Clinton, Dole, and Perot are on a long flight in Air Force One. Perot pulls out a $100 bill and says “I’m going to throw this $100 bill out and make someone down below happy.”Dole, not wanting to be outdone, says, “If that was my $100 bill, I would split it into 2 $50 bills…

Jerry Jones calls Michael Irvin in for a meeting:”Michael” he says, That was a close one & you’ll have to be careful from now on.””What do you recommend boss?””From now on it’s Pepsi & Nike, not COKE & NOOKIE”

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to leave him alone and let him get…

A lady took her Poodle to the parlor for a haircut. When she asked what it would cost, the girl behind the counter told her “$60.”The lady was outraged: “I only pay 50 bucks for my own haircut!””But you don’t bite, do you?” the girl replied.

A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and when she agreed, he asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds.When she said no, he mentioned that among their many…