Category: Miscellaneous

A lawyer is heading home in his limousine when he sees a group of people on the side of the highway. He tells the chauffeur to stop the car, goes over to them, and asks what they’re doing.A man says, “We’re poor, homeless, and starving. If we don’t eat this grass we’ll die of hunger!”The…

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and –WHACK!!– knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor.The great big dude says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.”The little guy gets back up on…

Moses, Jesus, and an old guy are playing golf.They come to a hole with a big river running through it. Moses tees off, and the ball lands in the water. He grabs his club, holds it up, and parts the water. He walks down to the water, and chips it out. Jesus is next. He…

Coach Walker enters the locker room and eyes one of his players. “Son, I hate to do this to you. I realize that you’re the star of the team, but you’re failing your classes and I can’t let you play.””Give me a break, coach!” pleads the jock.”I’ll tell you what – I’ll ask you a…

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign . . .”Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass.Caution: Do not step on exhaust.”

It was the end of the school year. The teacher had turned in her grades; there was nothing really for the class to do.All the kids were restless and it was near the end of the day. So the teacher thought of an activity. She said, “The first ones to answer correctly the questions I…

A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road.The woman said, “Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here forty years ago.”The guy stopped the car. His wife backed…

A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time. After he explained the basics to his wife, he told her the most important piece of information:Whenever you shoot something, make sure to claim it right away or the first person who gets to your kill can claim it as their own, so be…

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking alcohol when all of a sudden, the passenger, Bubba, said, “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl. It’s a po-lice roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!””Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the…

One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office.He was furious and said, “Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!””Yes Sir, Mr. President,” the interior decorator replied,”I’ll take those mirrors out right away!”