Category: Miscellaneous

One day three guys go out into the woods to hunt deer. The first guy goes and comes back with a dead deer, he says, “me find tracks, me follow tracks, me catch deer” The second guy goes and also comes back with a dead deer, he also says, “me find tracks, me follow tracks,…

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.” The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, ” How long before I can get…

Bill and Hillary Clinton were traveling to Hillary’s high school reunion in Chicago when they had to stop for gas. They pulled up to the full-service pump and waited as the gas station attendant came out to fill up the limo. As he was pumping the gas, Hillary said to Bill, “Gee, that guy looks…

I stopped at a fast food restaurant, intrigued by a sign which offered fat free fries. I decided to give them a try, but I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a batch of fries from the fryer dripping with fat, and then put a bag of these fries in with my order.”Just a minute,”…

A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no, that’s not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be…

Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened.Andy replied, “Oh, nothing. It’s just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while.”Josh, “Gee, I never knew you played hockey.”Andy, “No I don’t. I hurt it last year when I lost $100…

The answer to the eternal question “Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game. With $40 million in endorsements, hemade $178,100 a day, working or not. If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he…

A pirate walks in to a bar, he has the whole pirate gettup: peg leg, funky hat,the long beard, and the parrot. But he has a ship steering wheel in his pants.The bartender says,”Excuse me, but you have a ship steering wheel in your pants.”The pirate says,”Arrrggg, IT’S DRIVING ME NUTS!”

a blonde goes to an electronic store. She goes up to the salesman and says ” I’d like to buy this TV” the salesman replies “sorry I don’t sell to blondes” the blonde, very angry goes home. The next day she dresses up very professionally, pins her hair up and puts on a pair of…

A blonde went out for a walk. She came to a river and saw another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo,” she shouted, “how can I get to the other side?” The second blonde looked up the river then down the river then shouted back, “You’re already on the other side.”