Category: Miscellaneous

Q. What’s long and green and smells like pork?A. Kermit the frog’s finger.

In the days of old sailing ships the captain of the Seahawk went out on deck to get some fresh air, when from above a cry came down from the crow’s nest: “Enemy ship off the port bow!” The captain said to the ensign standing next to him, “Get me my red shirt. ” A…

What do you call a blonde at a University?A visitor.

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.

Q: How was copper wire invented?A: Two lawyers were arguing over a penny.

Q: How are lawyers like nuclear weapons?A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

What do you call ten blondes standing in a line?A windtunnel

Q. What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

On doctor’s orders, Melling had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services. Melling’s brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. “Would you like to see the body?” the undertaker asked. “I might as well take…

Sing it, it sounds better: His baloney has a first name: It’s “I did not inhale.” His baloney has a second name: “I wasn’t getting tail.” He loves to sling it every day, The White House people all just say, That Billy Clinton has a way Of making bullsh*t sound OK!