Category: Miscellaneous

WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT NEED A DIFFERENT LAWYER

Tthis blonde is driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She’s cruisin’ about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the…

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge…

The man was in a hurry to board the airplane and didn’t have time to do the paperwork to get his little doggie on board. So the man stashed the puppy down the front of his pants and sneaked him on the plane. About 30 minutes into the flight, a stewardess noticed that the man…

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. “What is it?” yells the President. “It’s this abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about it?” the aide asks. “Just go ahead and pay it.” responds the President.

Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

Q: What do men and linoleum have in common? A: Lay them right and you can walk all over them the rest of your life.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?Why does the word ‘monosyllabic’ have so many syllables?

Q: How can you tell a woman is old?A: When she takes off her bra, all of the wrinkles in her face disappear!

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.