Category: Miscellaneous

Q: What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?A: About …..35 pounds.

A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, “I heard you died.” “But you see I’m alive ,” smiled the friend.”Impossible,” said the psychiatrist, “the man who told me is much more reliable than you.”

…These two strings walk up to a bar… The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells “I don’t serve strings in this bar… The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders… The bartender shouts, Hey, didn’t you hear what I told your…

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The…

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

If it’s called tourist season why can’t I shoot them?

Why do they call it PMS? Because the name “MAD COW DISEASE” was taken.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?A walkie-talkie.

What did the blonde say when he opened the box of Cheerios?Doughnut seeds!