Category: Miscellaneous

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country flight, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, ‘Miss, I’m sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you’re seated in…

One day in Contract Law class, a Professor asked one of his better students, “Now, if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?” The student replied, “Here’s an orange.” The professor was livid. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!” the Professor instructed. The student then recited, “Okay, I’d tell…

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.” “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a…

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” she asks. “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”

A guy is at a bar, laughing with friends when he goes over to watch the bar tender. The bar is nice and clean and the bartender is putting down the finishing touches. The guy goes, “You seem like a bettin’ man.” The bartender replies, “everyday of the week except Sunday.” The guy goes “I…

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, “Would you like to dance?” The girl says, “I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.” The guy says, “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants.”

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend’s Dad. He said, “I want my daughter back by 8:15.”

Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over…

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.