Category: Miscellaneous

I accidentally installed the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I go, I’m chased by a herd of deer.

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long…

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: “In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good…

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

A woman gets into a cab and gives the cab driver an address all the way across town. When they arrive, the woman says, “I have no money.”The cabbie says, “I have to get paid.”The woman raises her dress and asks, “Will this do?”The cabbie says, “Don’t you have anything smaller?”

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks, “Where are you from?” I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds, “You don’t say. I’m from Ireland too! Let’s…

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back to his wife, Jean. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who just passed away. The preacher’s wife took one look at…

Q: Why don’t blondes play frisbee?A: It hurts their teeth.

A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer. The man asked, “How often do I take these?” “Let’s start off with once every six hours. But they’re not for you,” replied the doctor.…

Q: why did the man get fired from the Orange Juice factory? A: He wasn’t concentrating.