Category: Military

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.…

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?” One man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.” “Good,” said the captain, “you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we’re one short.”

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain…

Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!” The first mate quickly retrieved…

The jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport in Toronto on its final approach.The pilot comes on over the intercom and says, “Ladies and gentlemen. This is Capt. Johnson speaking. We’re on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today, and I hope you enjoy your stay…

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.”The guy says okay, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with…

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer.” the man began, “I can explain,”. “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back…” “But officer, I just wanted to say….” “And I said…

The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them, the Major called for this sexy dancer from the nearby town. She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes. For her second number, she stripped and danced in sheer…

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and…

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: That’s not it  and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was…