Category: Idiots

A couple on vacation was driving their RV through Wisconsin. As they approached the town of Oconomowoc they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth as they entered the town, and continued to bicker while they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter the husband asked…

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been travelling in circles. “We’re lost!” One of the men complained. “I thought you said you were the best guide in the United States.” “I am,” the guide answered, “but I think…

A woman was talking to her friend about her recent trip to Spokane, Washington. Her friend asked her how she liked Spokane. “I don’t know,” she answered. “I never got there.” “You never got there!” her friend exclaimed. “What do you mean?” “You know me,” the woman answered. “I have to stop at every rest…

A moron walks into a bar with a pile of dog crap in his hands and says, “Hey guys, look what I almost stepped in.”

A man enters a bar with his pet giraffe. They both sit down and he orders them some drinks. After a while the man and the giraffe both had a quite a lot to drink. The man feels its time to go home and notices his giraffe passed out on the floor and decides to…

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints about poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly…

Two rednecks had just gone fishing and brought in the largest amount of fish they had ever seen. One said to the other, “Did you mark the place where the fishing was so good?””Yes, I put an X on the side of the boat. “”You idiot. That if we were gonna take a different boat…

Professor: If there are any idiots in the classroom, please stand up. There was a long pause, then a lone freshman stood up in the back. Professor: So you consider yourself an idiot?Freshman: Well, not exactly. I just hated seeing you being the only one standing.

Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different…

A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go.Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens.He tries again. Still nothing.He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord.…