Category: Heaven and Hell

Giraffe and bunny meet up in the forest. Giraffe, in his usual arrogant way starts up a conversation.”So, bunny, do you know how great it is to have such a long neck?” he asks, a faint tone of smugness in his voice.”I’m sure I don’t,” replies bunny, obviously not really that interested.”Well, to begin with,…

Jeff and Mike were killed in an accident and as Jeff arrives at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. “Where’s my friend Mike?”…Jeff asks the old Saint. St. Peter replies…”Mike wasn’t as fortunate as you, instead of Heaven, he went in the other direction.” Jeff was deeply concerned by this and asks……

Three men were lost in the forest and later captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest with the cannibals and get 10 pieces of fruit. So all three men went separate ways…

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.” “This will be noted.” Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece…

“Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we…

Arthur Davidson, inventor of the Harley Davidson motorcycle corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.” Arthur thought about it for a minute…

A man walks into the market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a 25-cent piece in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his…

There was a party that many rich people attended. The host had recently built a tank with many alligators, paranas, and many other things that could kill you. The host said that if anyone could swim across the tank, he would, to the best of his ability, grant them 3 wishes. Well, nobody was up…

Two friends, Sullivan and O’Doule worked together at the Guiness Brewery in Dublin. They hadn’t been working there very long when one day, with no warning, O’Doule falls into one of the vats. To make a long story short, Sullivan’s lifelong pal drowns. Sullivan, being O’Doule’s best friend, feels obligated to go to the widow…

The policeman signals to an car driver to pull over to the side of the road, due to the fact that he appears to be driving erratically. He says to the driver, “You appear to have been drinking!” The driver answers, “No sir, I am just tired.”The policeman looks into the car and notices that…