Category: Heaven and Hell

When Mother Theresa died she went to Heaven. For a week or two she was fully satisfied that she had to eat only fruits and vegetables, but then one day complained to St.Peter and asked for some cooked meal. – My Dear, – said St.Peter, – and who is going to cook every day for…

Hello.Welcome to this year’s public service entrance exam.I see that all of you have been able to find yourself a seat and a desk so obviously you’ve got what it takes to be public servants. Should you pass this exam and become a member of the public service, you will enjoy not only the esteem…

Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon.Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was.When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the Baptist Church this…

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were walking through the forest when Sleeping Beauty turned and said, “I must be the most beautiful girl in the world.”To that, Tom Thumb said, “I must be the smallest.”And Quasimodo “I must be the ugliest in the world.”With that, Tom Thumb said, “Why don’t we go to Guinness…

Three men languished in Purgatory.After a while, they began talking to one another.Eventually, they got around to the age-old question asked by internees everywhere: “Whaddya in for?”The first man sighed, rolled his eyes heavenward and said “Allah forgive me!I am a Moslem, and I once drank beer with my lunch.”The second man looked ruefully at…

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.”I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said.”So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.””Of course,” replied the patient.”In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that…

Once upon a time there was a priest and a nun that were traveling on a camel. On a desert. Then in 3 months the camel dies. So the priest and the nun were stuck with each other alone. The priest find no other way to survive.So he says,” I’m going to show you something…

Three guys get to heaven,Bob, Larry and Bill, and before they enter St. Peter warns them “whatever you do don’t ever, ever, step on a duck. Once one quacks, they all do, and they make a terrible racket”. Bob enters heaven and immediately steps on a duck. So an angel comes up to him and…

Once this girl named Mary died in a car crash and went up to heaven.When she got there, there was an angel there.Mary was dumbfounded when she turned around and saw a whole bunch of clocks.Mary asked the angel why were there clocks on the wall. The angel said “Oh the clocks are for all…