Category: Heaven and Hell

Three Texans, Slim, Billy-Bob and Bubba died and went to heaven.At the pearly gates, they were met by St. Peter, who explained that although it was late and God had retired for the evening, he had asked Albert Einstein to show them around so they wouldn’t get bored before they met God in the morning.…

When the Son of God was nailed to the cross and died, he went straight down to hell from the cross and set free all the sinners who were there in torment.And the devil wept and mourned, for he thought he would get no more sinners for hell.Then God said to him, “Do not weep,…

Bill Clinton is in an elementary class and is trying to teach the students what a tragedy is. He asks if anyone knows. One kid stands up and says, “I know. If I was in the street and got hit by a car, that would be a tragedy.” Clinton says, “No son, that would be…

Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on the eve of their wedding. When they reached the pearly gates, St Peter met them.They asked if they could still be married in Heaven.”Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay there and I will be right back.’Six months passed and finally Peter…

The counselor at the “magnet” school called a boy (Myrddin) into his office before school started.”Myrddin, I have some good news and some bad news to relate to you this morning. We’ve just reviewed all of your personality tests and I’m afraid you have definite homosexual tendencies. And now the good news — I think…

Paddy just arrived in America from Ireland on holiday. Now, never having seen a baseball game before, he decides that now would be a good time. So, he goes to the park, and gets himself a bleacher seat.Now, Paddy sees a guy step up to the plate with a stick in his hand. The guy…

Catholic MathLittle Tommy was ding very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last dash effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious…

When the Son of God was nailed to the cross and died, he went straight down to hell from the cross and set free all the sinners who were there in torment.And the devil wept and mourned, for he thought he would get no more sinners for hell.Then God said to him, “Do not weep,…

Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo, the keeper finds two finches have dropped dead from old age.In the monkey cage he discovers two of the oldest chimps have also kicked the bucket.Waste not want not so he puts them in a sack with the finches and later tips them in the lion’s cage…

Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, and both of…