Category: Family, Parents

Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring. “There never was a daughter more devoted than my Alice,” said Mrs. Davis with a sniff. “Every summer she takes me to the Catskills for a week, and every winter we spend a week at Delray Beach.””That’s nothing compared to what my Anna does…

Rich texans are fabled for their grand style but when one oil tycoon appeared at a local golf course followed by a servant pulling a foam-cushioned chaise- lounge, his opponents thought that was taking style too far.”J.R., are you going to make that poor caddie lug that couch all over the course after you?” he…

Three successful Jewish brothers compared their wealth by the presents they had recently sent their old mother for her 75th birthday.Shlomo, the oldest, said: “I built a big mansion for our mother.”Moishe, the second, said: “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”Ira, the youngest, said: “You remember how our mama used to enjoy reading…

Bill Gates recently got married. After the wedding, Bill and his new wife got back to their honeymoon suite and later, of course, they crashed into bed. Apparently things didn’t work out pretty well for Bill that night, and the next morning his new wife got up, pointed at the embarrassed Bill Gates and rather…

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.”On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?””Yes” the mother answered.”And how is your son now?” he asked.”Who cares?” she replied.

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off thelight when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, willyou sleep with me tonight?”The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t,dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in…

You Know You’re a Mother When …1. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.2. You have the time to shave only one leg at a time.3. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.4. Your kid throws up and you catch it.5. Some one else’s kid throws up at…

Bill Clinton falls into a lake and cannot swim and three boys rescue him. Bill tells them “I’ll give you anything you want for saving my life”.So Bill asks the first boy what he wants and the first boy says he wants a Ferrari. Bill says fine.Bill asks the second boy what he wants and…

A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl’s grandmother.On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?””Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?””The tombstone back there said ‘Here…

A worried Father asked his daughter if her latest beau was serious about their relationship.”I’ll say he is Daddy.” responded the girl.”Just last nite he asked me how much you make, what kind of meals Mom serves and if you two are easy to get along with.”