Category: Family, Parents

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode Only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode. The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of N-64 & Barbie, flipped through their heads. The dad was snoring in front of the TV, with a half-constructed bicycle propped…

A weary mother returned from the store, Lugging groceries through the kitchen door. Awaiting her arrival was her 8 year old son, Anxious to relate what his younger brother had done. “While I was out playing and Dad was on a call, T.J. took his crayons and wrote on the wall! It’s on the new…

Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, “Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill.” Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring…

A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales. “Why Bloomingdales?” asked the rabbi. “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”

A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. “The secret,” she said, “is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.” The boy looked at her quizzically: “Why does it have to be a secret?”

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”

One day,little Mikey comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also naked,…

Top Ten Reasons Why The Computer Industry Is Finally Opening Up To Women 1. It’s easier for a woman to “turn on” a computer2. Women don’t have motherboard fixations.3. Women are much better at FDISK-ing a hard drive4. When lost on the Internet, women are willing to ask for directions.5. Women can communicate gossip and…

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor…

“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir,” the clerk replied.”That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”