Category: Bar Jokes

A wee guy was sitting at a bar staring at his drink for ages. Suddenly, a big biker came along, snatched his glass, guzzled down the contents and laughed, “Hah! So what you gonna do about that, little man?” “Nothing,” sighed the little guy despondently. “You see, today has been the worst day of my…

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his…

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I…

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and dancing, but every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the…

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. “Where the hell have you been all night?” she demands.”At this fantastic new bar,” he says. “The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It’s got huge golden doors, a…

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to thesame sleeping room on a transcontinental train.Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two aretired and fall asleep quickly…he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman…

This guy sits down at the bar and orders 5 shots of tequila and downs them straight. The bartender impressed asks “Hey buddy did you have a long day?” The man replies that he just found out that his brother was gay and leaves. The next day the same guy comes in and orders ten…

An American was backpacking across the highlands, when he came across a small village where he decided to spend the night.Upon entering the local pub that evening for some drinks with the locals, he found himself in a conversation with one particularly drunk and indignant individual.”Ya see that fence out there?” The old man asked…

A man walks along a lonely beach. suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG!So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a…

After a Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says “Hey Sen~or, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says…