Category: Bar Jokes

This guy met a woman at a bar and she took him home to have sex. Afterwards when he is getting dressed, he sees a picture of some guy on her dresser. He asks her who the picture is of and she replies, “Don’t worry about it.” He then says, “Well is that your husband?”…

IN PRISON…You spend the majority of your time in an 8×10 cell.AT WORK…..You spend most of your time in a 6×8 cubicle. IN PRISON…You get three meals a day.AT WORK…..You only get a break for 1 meal; you have to pay for it. IN PRISON…You get time off for good behavior. AT WORK…..You get rewarded…

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3:30 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?”…

After being married for 27 years this guy tells his wife that he is bored and is going to the bar to have a drink. As he enters the bar this gorgeous blond call him over. She says instead of you staying down here and drinking why don’t you come upstairs to my apartment and…

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair all different colors, green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. The young man said, “What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your…

An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry.Before the wedding they embarked on a long conversation regarding howtheir marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangementsand so on.Finally the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of theirsexual relationship…”How do you feel about…

The City Health Inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat to where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the Health Inspector nearly chokes when he see that he is not wearing a shirt. The chef then…

On the first day God created the cow… God said, “you must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer…for that I will give you a life span of sixty years.” The cow said, “that’s kind of a tough life,…

Nellie, shopping at her local supermarket, selects a quart of milk, a dozen eggs, a pound of bacon and aquart of orange juice. A drunk standing behind her, watches as she places the items in front of the cashier. He says to her…”you must be single.” The woman, startled but intrigued by the derelict’s intuition,…

Ever stop to think…and forget to start again? I are proud to be a college studentConserve toilet paper…use both sides Don’t come knockin’ if the car is a rockin’ 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain Keep honking…I’m reloading Don’t…