Category: Animals

A man dropped by his friend’s house to pay him a visit and was amazed to see him playing a game of chess with his dog. After a few minutes he burst out with, “That’s the most incredible dog I’ve ever seen!””Oh he isn’t so smart,” was the answer. “I’ve beaten him three games out…

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?” Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here and it is difficult for us to remember…

On the local rock radio station the DJ was reading out some requests. “This is a special birthday dedication to Sarah who’s one hundred and eleven!” Puzzled by how someone could be that old and listening to rock music, he re-read the message on the sheet of paper in front of him, and then said…

A dog walks into an employment agency and says “I’d like to get a job please.”. The guy at the employment agency says “Wow, you could easily get a job at the circus with your talents.” The dog replys “What would the circus want with a plumber?”

An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, “Oh, oh!” The man asked the doctor what the problem was. “Well,” said the doc, “you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?” “No,” replied the man. “Do you drink in excess?”…

A little boy came down to breakfast. Since they lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him he can’t have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and…

A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across three dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: “Ah, you’re lovely, aren’t you,” she says to the first dog. “What’s your name then?” To her surprise,…

There was this bloke who had a dog which he was attempting to train, but alas had very little success. He was on the verge of despair when he happened across a very charismatic American evangelist. He unburdened his soul to the American, who promptly informed him to leave the dog with him, and he…

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, “You can’t bring that dog in here.””You don’t understand,” says the man. “This is no regular dog, he can talk.””Listen, pal,” says the bartemder. “If that dog can talk, I’ll give you a hundred bucks.”The man puts the dog on a stool, and…

Bob was in love with Nancy, the beautiful young woman across the street. Unfortunately Bob had a speech impediment and she wouldn’t marry him because he talked funny. One day he read about a school on the other side of the country, that might be able to help him overcome his handicap. So he enrolled…