A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated….Please read the
following carefully…….
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately,
I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was
renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve
only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As
part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and
cookies so keep that in mind.
However, I’m certain that your children will be in good hands with your
local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His
side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering
toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences
between us.
Differences such as:
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